Sex scenes used to be a decoration or a prize for the protagonist and little else. Now, they’re a potent storytelling device. “What’s great about the current era is that people’s vulnerabilities can be revealed,” Ryan says. “If you show a one-minute scene of people in bed having an issue, fight or finding that they have differing desires, that’s great for making us care about those characters.”

The way we depict intimacy onscreen also reflects how we consider it in our own lives. Sonia Saraiya, television critic at Salon, said the new shows balance fantasy with the “indignities and gross and great realities” of sex. “You can’t just opt out. The awkwardness and difficulty are there the whole time.” She believes the rise of less idealized sex on TV (among young, single characters and marrieds with children alike) might have to do with the show creators, many of whom are women. “We get to see the particular frustrations and hilarities that go along with that,” Saraiya says of the female perspective.

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